Hey, mamas! Let's get real for a minute and talk about something we've all experienced but rarely admit: Mommy Rage. You know, that feeling when your patience is hanging on by a thread and you're ready to explode? As a licensed mental health therapist in both Florida and Ohio, I've worked with enough mamas to know how common this is and how shameful it can feel to admit. I work with my clients to help them move from rage to rest and away from shaming themselves to becoming aware of their own needs. Here are a few steps I teach my mamas in sessions.
Step 1: Be Aware of Your Emotions. Yes, You're Allowed to Feel Things!
Okay, let's start with the basics. Take a deep breath and acknowledge that you're a human being with emotions who has 101 mental tabs open at any given moment. It's okay to feel frustrated, overwhelmed, or just plain pissed off. Own it, because denying it won't make it magically disappear. So, give yourself permission to experience those emotions without judgment. Instead of shaming and labeling, ask yourself, “what am I feeling right now”.
Step 2: Figure Out Your Triggers and What You Actually Need
Alright, let's dig deeper. What's setting off your Mommy Rage alarm? Is it the never-ending pile of dirty clothes, the constant demands for your attention, your body no longer being your own, or the lack of sleep that makes you want to scream? Identify those triggers and then ask yourself, "What do I need in this moment?" Is it some peace and quiet because you’re over stimulated? Is it releasing yourself from impossible standards? Is it needing to be seen and loved right where you’re at (spicy smelling armpits and man hair on your legs)?? Get clear on what will help you move from rage to rest. I know we can’t always give ourselves exactly what we need but get as close as you can and let some things go.
Step 3: Take Action and Give Yourself Some Grace
Take whatever action you can to meet your needs. Maybe it's everyone eating cereal for dinner because having to come up with and cook ONE MORE MEAL may kill you, ice cream for everyone in the middle of the chaos so I am left alone for 5 minutes or asking your partner for 3 specific tasks they can help with. You might not be able to solve everything immediately, but do what you can in the moment. And remember, it's okay if you can't do it all. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself grace.
Step 4: Reach Out to Other Grace Giving Mamas
You know what they say, it takes a village to raise a child. Well, I firmly believe the village is for us too! Connect with other moms who understand first-hand the complexities of motherhood and can lend an empathetic ear. Vent, share, and seek advice because, let's face it, we're all just trying to do our best with absolutely no idea what we are doing. Your village is out there, ready to back you up.
So, dear mamas, let's transform our Mommy Rage into well-deserved rest. Embrace your emotions, figure out what you need, take action (even if it's small), and remember to lean on your village. We're all in the beautiful chaos together. Now go eat a cookie. 💖 #MomLife #SelfCare #RestForTheWeary #WeAllNeedACookie #GraceGivingMamas
